"Highways is just naturally good for makin’ clean getaways. They was built by thieves in the first place."
Trans-Texas Confidence Corridor Deals From Bottom Of The Deck
October 02, 2006
By Don M. Fisher
The Lone Star Iconoclast
Copyright 2006
As Uncle Hugh used to say, "Highways is just naturally good for makin’ clean getaways. They was built by thieves in the first place."
Lying Texas Governor Tricky Ricky Perry’s Trans-Texas Confidence Game palmed another card last week, and I’ll give eight-to-five you never knew you even placed a bet.
The Spanish grifter, Cintra Zachery, billed you $3.5 million for a 1,600-page "master plan" to pour six lanes of pie crust cement from the Rio Grande to the Red at the price of gold bricks.
Now here’s the switch: This "report" is printed with disappearing ink!
They ain’t even sure which route this gravy train is gonna take?
Hell, there ain’t even a train!
The devilish details of the con won’t be slipped in until next year, when the Iberians will get another three mil or so for a "final" report.
Note I said "Spanish" here, not "Mexican."
The closest Mexico will get to any of this cash is when the Campesinos mixing concrete and sweat send their $10 per hour paychecks home to pay protection to the local Narco traffickers.
Nope, these guys are, as we used to say before the revolution, genuine Penninsulares, pure Castilian.
This report even reads with a lisp.
Okay, before the Revolution of 1810, Mexico was run strictly by those born in Spain, Peninsulares, those "of the Peninsula." You know, the Iberian Peninsula . . . Oops! Sorry, teaching has gotten to be a bad habit.
Anyway, Cintra does have its criados.
Zachery Construction has gotten rich under Neighbor Bush’s privatization welfare program.
We used to pay highway department workers in overalls to lean on shovels by the side of the road.
Now we pay construction companies executives in ties to lean on topo maps in air-conditioned trailers.
There’s a better-than-even chance the whole nine yards (give or take 370 miles) won’t even be built.
That’s another card that ain’t in the deck: Cintra Zachery doesn’t have to build one inch of highway.
They can cherry pick the most profitable construction, since they invented this game.
Who’s going to be in a better bidding position?
Somebody else can pick up the crumbs.
All Cintra Zachery has to do is pay the state $2 billion for the right to skim the tolls off this lard barrel for 50 years.
With the option to extend to cover maintenance costs, naturally.
Guess who foots the other $6 billion?
Oh, you thought the whole thing was only supposed to cost $6 billion in the first place?
Hey, that was before you picked the deuce of clubs when we started this game.
But, tell ya what I’m gonna do, friend, since you’re in this so deep already, I’ll let you pick another card for only two billion more.
Found the queen yet?
By the way, right now, the trip from Laredo to Gainesville on this, the world’s largest parking lot, will cost you a little less than $60 bucks, or about 15 cents per mile. (Prices subject to change without notice, until voters start to squawl!)
Oops, not so fast Bucko!
See, truckers are gonna pay $200 or so.
Which means the independents will save money by driving on the highways this scam is supposed to be relieving.
Of course the big companies will be passing the cost on to you in higher prices at Wal-Mart.
But don’t worry; you’ll be too busy beating your kids to notice.
And all that light rail fluff they used to sell this pig?
Now they say it probably won’t happen.
Better pay off Big Oil, or they’ll send guys around bust up your fuel prices.
You’d think they’d be satisfied with the exclusive contracts for the only gas stations you can use without getting off, paying a toll and driving 30 minutes out of your way.
But no, there’ll be no bullet trains until they emminent domain your gravesite for the tracks somewhere after the middle of this century.
Now, here’s the final bait-and-switch.
Tricky Ricky is going to waltz right out of this game.
See, when the bunko squad finally gets the chance to give him the televised debate third degree, all the voters will be watching high school football or getting drunk in preparation for the OU game the next day!
You gotta hand it to him.
He knows a sucker when he sees one.
But then in this state, that ain’t no real trick.
Copyright © 2006, The Lone Star Iconoclast: www.lonestaricon.com
October 02, 2006
By Don M. Fisher
The Lone Star Iconoclast
Copyright 2006
As Uncle Hugh used to say, "Highways is just naturally good for makin’ clean getaways. They was built by thieves in the first place."
Lying Texas Governor Tricky Ricky Perry’s Trans-Texas Confidence Game palmed another card last week, and I’ll give eight-to-five you never knew you even placed a bet.
The Spanish grifter, Cintra Zachery, billed you $3.5 million for a 1,600-page "master plan" to pour six lanes of pie crust cement from the Rio Grande to the Red at the price of gold bricks.
Now here’s the switch: This "report" is printed with disappearing ink!
They ain’t even sure which route this gravy train is gonna take?
Hell, there ain’t even a train!
The devilish details of the con won’t be slipped in until next year, when the Iberians will get another three mil or so for a "final" report.
Note I said "Spanish" here, not "Mexican."
The closest Mexico will get to any of this cash is when the Campesinos mixing concrete and sweat send their $10 per hour paychecks home to pay protection to the local Narco traffickers.
Nope, these guys are, as we used to say before the revolution, genuine Penninsulares, pure Castilian.
This report even reads with a lisp.
Okay, before the Revolution of 1810, Mexico was run strictly by those born in Spain, Peninsulares, those "of the Peninsula." You know, the Iberian Peninsula . . . Oops! Sorry, teaching has gotten to be a bad habit.
Anyway, Cintra does have its criados.
Zachery Construction has gotten rich under Neighbor Bush’s privatization welfare program.
We used to pay highway department workers in overalls to lean on shovels by the side of the road.
Now we pay construction companies executives in ties to lean on topo maps in air-conditioned trailers.
There’s a better-than-even chance the whole nine yards (give or take 370 miles) won’t even be built.
That’s another card that ain’t in the deck: Cintra Zachery doesn’t have to build one inch of highway.
They can cherry pick the most profitable construction, since they invented this game.
Who’s going to be in a better bidding position?
Somebody else can pick up the crumbs.
All Cintra Zachery has to do is pay the state $2 billion for the right to skim the tolls off this lard barrel for 50 years.
With the option to extend to cover maintenance costs, naturally.
Guess who foots the other $6 billion?
Oh, you thought the whole thing was only supposed to cost $6 billion in the first place?
Hey, that was before you picked the deuce of clubs when we started this game.
But, tell ya what I’m gonna do, friend, since you’re in this so deep already, I’ll let you pick another card for only two billion more.
Found the queen yet?
By the way, right now, the trip from Laredo to Gainesville on this, the world’s largest parking lot, will cost you a little less than $60 bucks, or about 15 cents per mile. (Prices subject to change without notice, until voters start to squawl!)
Oops, not so fast Bucko!
See, truckers are gonna pay $200 or so.
Which means the independents will save money by driving on the highways this scam is supposed to be relieving.
Of course the big companies will be passing the cost on to you in higher prices at Wal-Mart.
But don’t worry; you’ll be too busy beating your kids to notice.
And all that light rail fluff they used to sell this pig?
Now they say it probably won’t happen.
Better pay off Big Oil, or they’ll send guys around bust up your fuel prices.
You’d think they’d be satisfied with the exclusive contracts for the only gas stations you can use without getting off, paying a toll and driving 30 minutes out of your way.
But no, there’ll be no bullet trains until they emminent domain your gravesite for the tracks somewhere after the middle of this century.
Now, here’s the final bait-and-switch.
Tricky Ricky is going to waltz right out of this game.
See, when the bunko squad finally gets the chance to give him the televised debate third degree, all the voters will be watching high school football or getting drunk in preparation for the OU game the next day!
You gotta hand it to him.
He knows a sucker when he sees one.
But then in this state, that ain’t no real trick.
Copyright © 2006, The Lone Star Iconoclast:
posted by Porkus Maximus Tex: at Monday, October 02, 2006
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